I still don't have much more to report today. We just got back from visiting Gaines again. His oxygen seems to be consistently hanging around 40% and his carbon dioxide doesn't seem to be budging much BUT, he's still on CPAP so that's a blessing. I'm trying hard not to be disappointed that he's not doing fabulous on it and ready to be weaned to breathing on his own. In my head I know that's ridiculous, but in your heart you hope that your baby is the one that's going to prove them all wrong. I guess its just that he just moved so quickly from the ossilator to CPAP that I hoped he was going to continue moving forward at the same pace. I know we'll get there, I've just got to be patient. Easier said than done.
They did decide to give Gaines caffeine this afternoon. I believe it's supposed to prevent the "bradys" or episodes of bradycardia. I'm starting to learn the NICU lingo. I think our nurse today was surprised to hear that I knew where his carbon dioxide level should be. I SO wish I didn't know it. I wish I was worrying about a sleeping schedule or even colic.
It's a dreary day here so it kind of lends itself to a sullen mood. I'm trying not to let myself sink into that. I've done really well with my emotions and spirit since last week but I'd be lying if I said I didn't get down from time to time. Nothing major, but last night I decided that I really wanted to hold my baby and I just can't right now. He's not quite there yet but one day soon I hope.
A bright spot...Beau and I were out in Georgetown yesterday (or one day recently...who knows anymore) and we saw some little preemie clothes at the baby Gap. They were SO cute and tiny. I haven't bought anything yet but I can't wait to be able to put some clothes on this little guy. Shopping for baby clothes just seemed like such a normal thing to do. Georgetown is the furthest I've been from the hospital and that was even a stretch for me. It's walking distance so its really not that far but I struggle with getting too far away right now.
I guess that's really about it for now. Please just continue to keep Gaines and our family in your prayers. Please pray for a healthy heart and lungs.
Love to all,