Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Still Working On Patience

As you can probably tell from the title of this post, Gaines isn't really fired up about bringing his oxygen down. He was between 28-30% last night but this morning at our visit he was at 30%. Its so frustrating to me to not be able to just fix it myself and all these little pep talks I keep giving him don't really seem to inspire him. I've even been promising him all kinds of things like never having to cut the grass, take out the trash, empty the dishwasher etc and he's not really budging. I've decided that he takes after his namesake (my sister) in another way now. She does everything at a snail's pace and I guess Gaines will too.

I've been in great spirits the last 10 days or so (ever since Reed's been here) but I got kind of down about the oxygen business this morning. I guess I just don't know how to not focus on it and still be a concerned parent. The only way I could not pay attention to those numbers is to not visit and not call and check on him...but then what kind of mother would I be? I'm trying to just leave it in God's hands but my heart still sinks every time I find out that is oxygen hasn't come down. I prayed hard about it this morning and right now I have a peace that it will come down in its on time.

I didn't get to do the kangaroo care last night like I thought because Gaines had several "episodes" yesterday. He dropped his sats a couple of times and had a few instances of bradycardia. I believe he corrected them himself but the nurses didn't think getting him out would be the best thing. Its and awful lot of stress for such a little guy.

The good news is that Gaines gained 66 grams last night. I believe that puts him back about 3 lbs 11 oz. Maybe we'll finally see 3 lbs 12 oz tomorrow. Please pray for continued weight gain, for his brain bleed to clear up on its own and for healthy heart and lungs. Also, he has an eye exam today. Please pray that it goes well.

Love to all,



The Riedel Family said...

Brittany and Beau-
You are doing a wonderful job! You are so supportive of him, and that is exactly what he needs! Try and stay positive. And remember, Gaines has the absolute biggest cheering squad on his side praying for him constantly! That is so amazing! Thanks for all the updates! And can't wait to hear if the kangaroo care helps!

Lori said...

I am praying for Gaines and for GOD to give Brittany more patience. Your in my thoughts and prayers several times during the day

Melody said...

((hugs)) We are praying for you guys everyday!! My 4 year old daughter always prays "And Lord please let Gaines continue to get stronger. And I hope he can go home soon."

Have you tried promising him a pony? Maybe that will do the trick!

King J's Queen said...

We continue to pray for Gaines and the whole family. Your situation reminds me of something someone once told me, when I was praying for patience (uh, well, I still do!). Anyway, what she said was that when we ask God to give us patience, He doesn't just *poof* make us patient. Instead, He provides lots of "opportunities" (trials? frustrations?) to allow us to "practice" being patient. :-)

Hang in there! Oh, and be careful what you promise the little might regret it later. LOL!!

hallegracesmama said...

I'm a lurker and the mommy of a 23wkr, now 4 yrs old. I was excited to read that you were going to kangaroo him yesterday, and now I'm sorry that you were not able to. I would encourage you to push for that time together with him. Studies show that kangaroo care can make a big difference in the baby's health. I first held Halle when she was sixteen days old and on a ventilator. I continued to hold her daily until she was discharged 95 days later. Perhaps there is something more going on and the docs want Gaines to be still more...but I just find it interesting that our hospitals seem to have such different philosophies! Anyway, Gaines will continue to be in my prayers, and I look forward to reading his updates!

Oh, there is an online group of Preemie Moms that you might want to connect with. The preemie experience is a roller coaster and it's great to be able to connect with others who have been there!

Cary said...

Brittany, I don't think you are hearing God's answer to you request for patience. Think about have all been extremely patient and for a very long time! I mean, this SAGA started when???? Girl, you are doing great!
I hope Gaines will continue to improve and hope you get to do the "kangaroo care" tonight.

Cary in Birmingham

Michelle said...

I hope God speaks to you as He speaks to me but I think He really wants you to let go of this "O2 thingie" and just let Him handle it. Let me add, (cause I am a mommy too and a nurse) not the weight, not the brain bleed, not the heart, not the eyes..just the lungs. Let HIM completely control the LUNGS!! Keep a little of everything else so that you will have something to worry about but for let's just say for 1 day.. LET GOD DO HIS JOB AND BE IN CONTROL! Give it to Him and let it go. I know it is hard but GOD HAS GOT THIS!! So tomorrow when you wake up, say your prayer for Gaines' lungs, trust in Our Perfect Heavenly Father and promise yourself you won't worry about it the rest of the day! Worry about his weight or something else.

Hugs and PRAYERS from Prattville!

Penni said...

Sounds like you just NEED A HUG!! So here's a hug, all the way from God's Country. You've been given some excellent advice. I won't add to any of it.

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,
Penni (and Jackson & the boys)

Mab said...

thinking of you all daily.....