Sunday, August 29, 2010

I'm Fine

I don't have a lot to report tonight but I decided that I better get on here and announce that I'm back to loving my family again.  This past week has been MUCH better than the week before was.  We've actually had a pretty relaxing weekend (or as relaxing as it gets with small children) and I've gone to bed thinking how blessed that I am to have my little family.  Its really hit me lately that no matter how hard the days or weeks are, they are nothing compared to what they were this time last year.  Last year right now Gaines was STILL in the hospital.  Kind of puts things in perspective.  He's doing awesome by the way.  He's still working on his talking and is an expert at getting into things he shouldn't be.  What the appeal of my vase cabinet is, I will never know. 

Let's see...what else? This weekend I got to utter the phrase, "Reed, we do not use mama's make-up brushes to clean the floors."  His response:  "Well, the floor was a little wet".  Awesome. 

Oh, Gaines flipped himself out of his pack and play Saturday morning.  He sleeps in the pack and play in our room and pulled himself up on the side.  He got a little top heavy and flipped out.  We woke up to, Thud.  "Waaaa!"  That child is a M.E.S.S. 

I fished a book out of the toilet this weekend.  Thanks Gaines. 

This is a random post so I'll end with a random question.  Does anyone else have children that prefer not to wear clothes around the house?  Is it a boy thing?  We aren't home five minutes in the afternoons before Reed strips down to his underwear.  That's what he wears for the evening...underwear.  Oh, and sometimes, when he puts his underwear on himself, he puts it on inside out and backwards.  I probably should help him fix it but most of the time I leave him alone just because it makes me laugh to see him walking around like that.  Beau usually fixes it with a disapproving look in my direction but I can't help it.  I'd post a picture of it but I'm guessing that's inappropriate. 

All right, that's all for now.  I'm out. 

Love to all,


Tuesday, August 24, 2010


I know it’s been a little while; I was informed on Friday that there had been no post for 8 days. We just had a busy week. Beau had after work things two nights and Gaines just didn’t really allow for much blogging time. He was in rare form last week. Thankfully he seems to be phasing out of whatever got into him but I tell you…he was rough. I wouldn’t blog at night because I was so physically, mentally and emotionally drained from him and I wasn’t really sure of what I might type about the little guy. I mean, I don’t know if I’m the only mother out there that feels this way and I probably shouldn’t admit it on the internet (or anywhere else) but there are times that I don’t really enjoy my children. Obviously I always love them and believe me I KNOW that I should appreciate them and just enjoy every little minute I have with them but sometimes it’s incredibly hard. That probably makes me an awful mother but it’s true.

I really struggled with that this week. I knew I wasn’t being the best mother and I felt guilty for not being more patient and loving with Gaines because you all know just how lucky we are to have him. I felt terrible for feeling the way I did but I couldn’t help it. I felt like maybe I wasn’t cut out to be a mother…I mean, a good mother is supposed to enjoy her children and sing songs to them in the bathtub and laugh and gently say “No, no” when they pull her hair for the eight thousandth time and carry her baby around on her hip just because he wants to be held and not get angry with them because they’ve just spit up (AGAIN!). Good mothers pat their child’s head and say “Poor baby, are you ok?” I get on here at times and I see all these happy blogs with the good mothers and happy children and I wonder if other people ever feel the same way.
I don’t mean to sound like I’m always frustrated with them because I’m certainly not. Most times I enjoy them but there are days (or a week) that are just hard. I’ve cut myself some slack because I’ve come to realize that I am a good mother. I love my children and would do anything necessary for them to be happy and healthy. And I know that it’s ok for me to have days that I don’t enjoy them all day long or need a break from them. They are precious and wonderful and bring so much happiness to my life but they aren’t always easy and I don’t think God intended for them to be. I can only figure that I’m supposed to be learning something from them on the days that I consider giving them away (that is a joke, please do not send child services to my house). My guess is patience. Why is that so hard to learn? There are days when I tell God, “Ok…I got it. I’ve been working on patience for over a year now…you can move on to someone else. Go ahead and “fix” my child so I can go about with my life.” I suspect He laughs at that.
This post has taken a whole different theme than I intended but once I started typing it just took on a life of its own. I REALLY hope that people reading this understand how much I love my children and that my brutal honesty here is appreciated and doesn’t make me out to be a monster of a mother. I’m not perfect and I’m STILL working on patience but I love my children and I love being a mother and raising my boys. Reed seems to have turned out ok so far (at the ripe old age of 2 ½) so maybe I’ll make it through this time with Gaines and he’ll end up alright too.
Other than my patience issues, everything else is going well at our house. Reed still cracks me up everyday and Gaines still gives the best hugs. Gaines is learning new words and picked up “ball” over the weekend. Still no walking but he seems to be getting stronger and if I get him just right, he can stand for 3-4 seconds which isn’t the goal but its better than he was doing 2 weeks ago. He also pushes around push toys but doesn’t walk on his own. I haven’t put out a prayer request in a while but I would really appreciate prayers for Gaines’ legs. I don’t feel a ton of pressure just yet for him to be walking but I do feel some and I know it will only get worse as the months go by. Please pray that his balance would get stronger and that he’ll be walking very soon. I know that his lungs will eventually get better but I don’t know for a fact about the walking so I’d really appreciate some peace on that issue.
I think that’s about it for now. I hope you appreciate the honesty.
Love to all,

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Life With Reed

So many of my posts are about Gaines so I decided to do one about life with Reed these days. The first few things are little funny (to me anyway) conversations we’ve had.

Me: Reed, I am so ready for fall.
Reed: Me too.
Me: Do you know what fall is?
Reed: It what Humpty Dumpty Do.

Reed: Mama, can you help me put this crayon in my ear?
Me: Why in the world do you want a crayon in your ear? We don’t put things in our ears, Reed.
Reed: Like this. (He shows me that he really means over his hear like someone might put a pencil).
Me: Oh…you mean over your ear. Where have you seen someone do that?
Reed: The smurf do it. (Handy Smurf keeps a pencil above his ear and apparently Reed noticed.)

Me: Reed, you are getting so big. I don’t want you to grow up.
Reed: But I have to.
Me: Why do you have to?
Reed: Because I really don’t like being little.

Last weekend we went through all of the stuff the boys have outgrown so that we could get rid of it all…to purge as my dad likes to call it. I came across a little suitcase on wheels that used to be Reed’s. Reed saw it and fell in love with it. After he realized it wasn’t for him to get in (he asked me to zip him up in there) he started pulling it around and I heard him say, “Thanks for coming! Have a safe trip!” about 594 times over the course of the afternoon/evening. It was an afternoon’s worth of entertainment. I put it in his closet that night but the next day he was dragging it around again. He had it loaded up with some of his junk and was giving out prizes. He’d say, “Mama, I got you a prize” and it would be some random piece of plastic that probably went with some other toy. Great. Thanks. That went on for two days before he lost interest.

Also, the last two nights I’ve gotten in bed and I’ve felt something with my foot. Two nights in a row I’ve reached under the covers and found a small, wooden, toy ambulance. That must be where it parks.

My cell phone has been lost for the last couple of days. I wasn’t terribly concerned about it as the 3 people who actually call my cell phone also know my work and home numbers but last night I decided that Reed and I were going to go on a cell phone hunt and look for it until we found it. I searched everywhere and he didn’t hinder the process too much. I took all the couch/chair cushions off (with Reed’s help of course), I looked under the couch, chair and ottoman, I took all the toys out of the toy baskets, I checked all the riding toy compartments where the boys like to keep their treasures, the cabinet I caught Gaines trying to put the remote the day before (where we NEVER would have found it), under beds, behind furniture…everywhere. Or so I thought. Until I saw the little blue suitcase. And there it was. One cell phone.

In the process of the cell phone hunt, you will be glad to know that the following items also turned up under various pieces of furniture: 24 puzzle pieces, a golf ball, an orange foam fish, a yellow plastic fish, a toy ipod, 3 blocks, 2 coasters, a plastic cow from Chik-Fil-A, an elephant rattle, a thermometer, a singing bunny, 2 slippers, 2 fruit loops (which Reed ate before I could stop him), 3 writing pens, one rubber band and one bottle of water. Do not judge me.

Love to all,


Friday, August 6, 2010

My Morning...

I thought I’d give y’all a glimpse into my morning this morning. Beau had to leave at 5:30 today which meant I had to handle getting the boys and getting myself dressed for work by myself. Here’s how it went:

3:30-5:00-Gaines whimpered and cried about every 20 minutes. Finally at 5:00 he seemed to get back into a deep sleep.
5:01-I hear Beau’s alarm on his phone go off (he slept on the couch to try and not wake Gaines up so early). I grab Jack by the collar so that he doesn’t start stirring around and waking up Gaines. It’s happened before and it does not endear Jack to my heart. I will not be sad if Jack’s hearing fades a little as he gets older. That dog hears EVERYTHING.
5:01-5:45- I half-sleep with Jack’s collar in my hand knowing that if I dare to let it go, he’ll shake and the collar jingling will wake up Gaines or he’ll decide that he needs a drink of water and proceed to slurp water from his bowl as loudly as he can or he’ll hear Beau getting dressed and bark at the “intruder”.
5:45-Gaines wakes up and I remember that I normally shower at night when I have the boys by myself in the mornings but since Beau was home last night, I totally didn’t think about it. Awesome. I figure if I have to shower, we might as well get the day started so I get Gaines out of the bed. Reed is still asleep.
5:47-I’m making Reed and Gaines’ breakfast with Gaines screaming at me because I’m not holding him. Gaines gets a few choice words from me on what will happen if he wakes up his brother. He doesn’t care and continues screaming…not crying…screaming.
5:49- Reed wakes up and proudly tells me that his pull-up is dry. Its not.
5:52- The three of us sit down for breakfast. I give Gaines a peanut butter cracker. He throws it on the floor to Jack. I tell him he’s not getting anymore (he’s been on a breakfast strike lately but Kristin usually gets him to eat it later in the mornings so I know he’ll just eat it later and don’t feel too bad about taking it away).
5:57- Reed says, “I gotta go poop”. Awesome. There is more to that story that I will not go into but suffice it to say there was more to it. Somehow, on his way to the bathroom, Reed locks himself in the laundry room. Not sure how that happened.
6:00 or so I get in the shower. I have to lock Gaines in the bathroom with me because he cannot be trusted to roam the house alone. He’s not a fan of this and gets between the shower curtain and clear shower liner and screams at me to let me know that he is less than pleased with the arrangement.
6:10-Jack pushes the door open (the door doesn’t exactly latch or lock) and comes in and somehow shuts he and Gaines in the bathroom together. There is some commotion going on out there and 2 seconds later, Jack jumps in the shower. 4 seconds later he realizes he doesn’t like water and that I didn’t exactly welcome him in and tries to get out but cannot get much traction on the enamel tub. Plus Gaines is standing right where he is trying to get out. You can see Jack’s mind turning trying to figure out his plan but he eventually gets out and manages to stay out of Gaines’ reach.
6:20-I get out of the shower and hear Reed tell me he is done with his breakfast and needs his hands washed. He’s on a peanut butter bread kick for breakfast right now which is great but a little (or a lot) messy. Reed likes to eat the center of the bread first and ends up with peanut butter all over his face. I go to the kitchen to clean him up and see that he has brought his plate to the kitchen (which is his new responsibility). I’m not really sure why, but his plate is on the counter and the crust from his bread that he decided not to eat, is on the counter beside the plate. I roll my eyes and clean up the breakfast mess.
6:30-I’m trying to put makeup on and have two little helpers in the bathroom with me. I beg Reed to go play cars in his room with Gaines because by this point, I’m a little overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed easily and these two at my feet are stressing me out. Oh, somewhere in there Reed locks himself in the laundry room again. Anyway, Reed tells me he wants to play trucks. I say great. Go do it. He goes in the den and proceeds to throw every toy he has out of the toy basket. I go to the den and tell him to clean it up. He doesn’t and I don’t have the energy to fight it so I take him and Gaines to his room to play with the blocks. This plan works and I think have about 5 minutes to put on make-up in peace but Jack in knocking his water bowl around which means he is out and wants more water.
6:40-Reed runs to the bathroom to show me something. An Easter egg that he found. Cool. He runs back.
6:42-“Mom! Jack pooped in Gaines’ room!”
6:43-Poop cleaned up…I’m drying my hair.
57 seconds later (I know because I counted to see how long it would take Gaines to get across the house once he heard the hair dryer) I hear Gaines screaming because he’s run out of cord for the 187th time that morning. I find him in the dining room with his little face stretched backwards like he got a really bad face lift or something. I get him straightened out and my hair dried and fixed with my two little helpers back in the bathroom.
Somewhere in there Reed pulls every couch cushion off the couch. He does this every morning and every afternoon like it’s his job. I’m guessing it’s a boy thing but its super annoying. Nothing makes your house look neat and clean like couch cushions (not just throw pillows) strewn every where. I tell him to put them back on. He tells me to put the big ones on and he’ll do the little ones. That the big ones are “too big of a job for him”. I tell him if he can get them down he can put them back on (I’m so mean). I walk off to his protests of it being too big of a job for him and when I turn the hairdryer off, I hear him say, “This is too big of a job for me Gaines”.
6:58-I decide that Gaines is irritable because he’s hungry and I decide to give him he medicines and fix a bottle for him to feed himself…he prefers to have you hold his bottle so that he can twizzle his hair (I’ve been telling y’all…the world revolves around Gaines) but there is just no time for that this morning. He is not so impressed with this decision either and lets me know it. I tell him fine, he can wait until Kristin gets there at 7. We always try and get her to come in early when it’s just one of us in the mornings.
7:oo or so Kristin arrives and takes over Gaines. I brush Reed’s teeth, wash his face, get him dressed for school and tell him to put on his crocs. As I say it I remember that one croc was missing last night so I tell him to go find it. He tells me he’ll just wear his flip flops. I hate Reed’s flip flops. I don’t know why…I just do. Might have something to do with the fact that he likes to wear the strap that is supposed to go around his heel, over his foot like a third strap…it looks real cool. I don’t have the energy to fight it and I really don’t have time to search for a croc so he wears his flip flops.
7:10-I send Reed to hang out with Kristin and Gaines in the den (which still has couch cushions and toys strewn around) while I finish getting ready. A minute later I hear Kristin tell Reed that she’ll pickup the big ones and he can do the little ones. Couch cushions. Little weasel got out of his “big job”. Another minute or two later I hear Reed say, “Ms. Fristin, can you put those trucks in the basket”. I intervene on that one and tell him to do it himself. He does.
7:22-We have it all together and walk out of the door. I’m worn out and have barely started the day.

Love to all,


Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Pulmonology Update

Ok…I haven’t had a ton of time lately but here is a quick post about Gaines’ pulmonology appointment this past Monday. I think I’ll do it in bullets. Like a list. I love a good list.

-We got permission to turn Gaines' oxygen down to a quarter of a liter. He seems to be doing great on it so far. His sats have been great and we even see 100 (perfect) from time to time. He’s been breathing a little harder than normal but that is to be expected until he gets used to this. My only slight concern is that he spit up last night (his reflux tends to flare up when he’s working harder to breathe) and he hasn’t been super excited about taking his bottles. I’m hoping that gets better as he gets more used to less oxygen. We are trying to take it easy with him on the eating but you all know how important weight gain is for his lung health so we do still want him eating well. It would make no sense for him to be on less oxygen if he is taking in less calories and burning more calories to breathe. I’ll keep you posted on this but I THINK he’s doing pretty well on a quarter liter.
-Weight gain-18 lbs 12 oz. AWESOME. So proud of Gaines. The doctor and nutritionist were very happy as well. The doctor even said that he was starting to worry about Gaines’ weight but not anymore. Yay! Now we just need to keep it up. His new goal is 1000 calories a day. That is 83 cheese puffs. Kidding. It is actually 83 cheese puffs but 720 calories a day come from his pediasure. He eats peanut butter now so that is a big help in getting him healthy fats/calories. I just don’t feel right dumping melted butter on everything he eats. I’m afraid he’ll have a heart attack at age 8.
-Hernia Surgery-Not looking forward to this one but I am looking forward to putting it behind us. Its been hanging over our heads forever now so I’m ready to mark it off the list. I am TERRIFIED to have Gaines put under anesthesia but I know it has to happen at some point. His lung doctor assures me that he is ready (and I’ve threatened him with his life on this) and the urologist thinks we run a risk of something called constriction (I might be making that word up but something along those lines where the intestines would be stuck down there). Not good…SO, we’ll be doing that in a few weeks. I’ll keep you posted. It will be mid-September so we do still have a little while.
-No medicine changes but the doctor remarked how small the doses are now compared to Gaines’ size so I take that as a good thing.

I think that is about it medically.

Gaines has a pretty good bruise on his forehead and a busted lip but I take those as good things. He’s learning to come down the brick stairs in our den and loves to climb on anything he can. Reed kept a bruise on his head about this age.

Reed is still pretty sweet although he did get sent to timeout yesterday for hitting me with a golf club. Thanks mom…those were a great idea. He did a "candid ball" off the diving board yesterday and also helped me put the "sheeps" on his bed.

Love my two little boys!

Love to all,