So its June...and...we...are...still...here. This all started in March. Big sigh.
The changing of the month means that our doctors get changed around again. The bad news is that we lose a great doctor that's been seeing Gaines from the start (although he'll be around some because he has a research project going on at GWUH). The good news is that the fellow that was around for Gaines' rough few days is back. We really love both of the fellows and the attendings that have been taking care of Gaines. I talked to the new fellow this morning and she said that she was going to try and get him out of here this month. She followed it up with what we've known all along..."its up to him though". I know that she meant Gaines but I think the "him" that's its up to is the one with the capital H.
This month also brings several things that I had hoped to celebrate at home. Beau and I will have been married for five years on Friday, my birthday is the next Friday and Fathers Day is the next weekend. I'm afraid we'll have to celebrate each of these things in D.C. I'm sure Beau will try and get away with saying he took me to D.C. for our anniversary.
I'd gotten kind of down the last couple of days because I'm so ready to get my family back home. I'd cry and ask Beau when is this going to end and how are we going to handle it once we did get back home. I'd want to know how much more do I have to take before God will fix Gaines. He responded with something that to me was so profound. He said, "This is not a punishment, Brittany". Most days I know that, but I'd never really realized that some days, that's the way I look at it. Like a punishment that I've been trying so hard to get out of.
Beau also reminded me that we could have been home a long time ago...without Gaines. To me that just sort of put things in perspective. Gaines may have days that he doesn't do well and he may have days of no progress but at least he has days. I realize now how very blessed we are to still be here.
Speaking of when we get back home, I'm pretty sure Gaines is not going to be up for daycare right away. We'll probably try and keep him at home through this winter and early spring next year. So, if any of you out there have any suggestions as to where we could find a nanny (can't believe we'll have a nanny...that sounds ridiculous to me) that's willing to work out of the goodness of her heart (kidding obviously) let me know. I have no idea when we'd need them but I figure we better start slowly looking around. I'm only putting this out there because you never know when someone will know someone looking to do something just like this.
Enough of my rambling...I think Gaines is doing pretty well today. His oxygen stayed in the 40s all night and when I left after my visit this morning he was at 44 and doing well. Hopefully they've been able to bump him down some. I told him I wanted him to be in the 30s by tomorrow. Maybe he'll finally start listening to me.
He's gained more weight and is now up to 4 lbs 8 oz. Beau and I agree that he's starting to fill out some. His cheeks looked a little chubbier to me. They've increased his feedings again so he's now up to 40 ccs every three hours (30 ccs is 1 ounce...just for reference).
Last night at church the closing song was I'll Fly Away. It kind of suprised me because this church didn't seem to me like the old hymn singing kind of church but I loved it. The last verse is:
Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away.
To a land where joy shall never end, I'll fly away.
Now I know that I'm taking some major liberties with this but it made me think about our situation here. Just a few more weary days and we'll fly away home, a place where joy shall never end. Cheesy I know but it just kind of stuck with me. Ok...now I'm really done with the rambling.
I can't believe some of the stuff I put out here for complete strangers to read...and worse, people I actually know. Oh well...I guess you'll all really know me now...the good, bad, ugly and random.
I guess that's about all for now. Beau is helping some of our new friends move today so its been just me and Reed this morning. He's napping now so I think I'll try and rest a bit.
Please keep us in your prayers. Pray that Gaines' lungs improve and that we don't have to celebrate the fourth of July here.
Love to all,