I might actually be able to write a post and not be rushed through it. I swear it is so hard to get anytime on this computer lately. Side note...I'd like a count on how many times I've used the phrase "so hard" in this blog since March 18. I hope its as many times as "so blessed" but I doubt it. I've said it before but its not easy to remember all the ways God has provided for us when the one thing I keep asking for hasn't happened yet.
A few days ago I was all set to write a blog about how I've been actually thankful for this situation and how much I've learned from it, et cetera and so on. That post never got written because the next day is when Gaines started having trouble with his oxygen again. Not so much trouble but we lost the 25% and headed back up to 30%. When you've waited so long for 25, going back to 30 is devastating. It's enough to really shake you up and make you question God. Why won't He just fix him, is He really listening when I pray, is He really there? Thankfully I let those questions come in and sent them right back out.
So many things have happened so perfectly that I know He's there. I don't think I've handled this situation better than anyone else would so don't think I'm patting myself on the back...I'm not. BUT, I have handled it and I'm still sane (I think), and I still have a husband who loves me and I still have two beautiful children and I still have lots of family and friends back home supporting me. I don't think any of that would be the case if God wasn't there directing this whole thing. If I was doing this on my own I surely would have gone crazy, pushed Beau away with my craziness, I might not have both my children and people back home would have said "how sad" and gone about their business. I'm quite sure that paragraph isn't grammatically correct but by MLA handbook husband isn't here right now so I'm letting it go.
I really don't think I had a point to all of that rambling...just something I felt like writing.
Gaines is still doing about the same. He's still hanging around 30%. Every so often the nurse will get him just right and he'll hang out at 27% for a while but really he's about 30%. They have decided to give him an extra dose of lasix today which I've been thinking he needed the last few days. He's had a good bit of weight gain lately (could be a sign of him retaining fluid) and with his oxygen up it just made sense to me...with all of my medical training. I think they were trying to give him every opportunity to not need it but finally decided to try it today. I hope that it helps and that his oxygen requirement comes down.
As far as going home to Alabama is concerned, we still don't know anything. I spoke with our insurance company this morning and they still need some info from GWUH before they have a decision. Please pray that this works out. I'm so afraid the group administrator is not going to let it go through and I will be devastated.
I need to run...Reed's up...so much for not being rushed.
Love to all,